Coaching and my new year resolution – It’s not about the drink!
We tend to pick a new year resolution thinking too much of the behaviour we are going to address rather than the effect the change in behaviour is going to have on us.
The particular change we have picked is important, perhaps critical, but that on its own may not be enough to help us to succeed.
If your new year resolution is going to be meaningful it needs to go beyond the chosen change of habit and allow you the chance to get to something rewarding beyond the habit. This is why coaching and new year resolutions go together so well. Coaching helps to develop your compelling reasons for making a change.
Coaching and my new year resolutions tip #1
Don’t make it just about not drinking, focus instead on what the change of habit is going to open up for you, for your life.
Examples:
- healthy lifestyle
- weight loss
- better sleep
- feeling better physically and emotionally
- better mindset and mood
Coaching and my new year resolutions tip #2
Your new resolution is a gateway into a new life.
You are not just giving up alcohol, cigarettes, or whatever. You are giving up an attachment to an old and familiar you. The resolution is a gateway into a new you. This is where the opportunity is.
Don’t see this as just about not drinking wine, see it as an attempt to do something different and better; opening a gateway into a new you.
Your new year resolution is the gateway into better and more creative living
Of course this will take a certain amount of effort and concentration, but don’t just tie it to red wine, cigarettes or chocolate. Tie it to a new possibility for you.
Coaching and my new year resolutions tip #3
With this new resolution comes the possibility to break out of an old sense of identity
If we view the new resolution as part of the change we are making then it can be experienced as:
- energising and refreshing in a way that beer can never be.
This resolution is a gateway into a new you. A critical change point.
Not drinking today is just a reminder of the attempt you intend to make to give yourself the chance to experience change: good change.
Coaching and my new year resolutions tip #4: take it one day at a time
Don’t think about having to do something for a month or a year, borrow two mantras from Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and do it:
One day at a time… just for today
This is important, it is much easier to stick with your new resolutions one day at a time. By sticking to this reminder you can break the month down into manageable segments.
Coaching and my new year resolutions tip #5
Try not to measure yourself against other achievements. Just give yourself the chance to be the best you can be today.
New year, new start, new you!
Your new resolution is going to let you break out of the repetitions of yesterday and into a new chapter, a new story. What is that story going to be like?
Coaching, and how I work with my new year resolutions
If you were working with me in a coaching relationship I would encourage you to start thinking about and developing a new story for yourself.
Not just in a loose way, but to let your imagination have some space to get involved and develop the new possibility of change that you are trying to engage with.
In my coaching relationships I encourage people to:
- draw, write down or story board the things that have led you to want to make this change.
- draw, write down or story board what the change might look and feel like,
- to develop a compelling picture of what you are trying to get to. You can’t get home without knowing more about where home is.
- to get into the habit of keeping a record or journal of how the process goes, what works? what helps?
- to monitor your experience of the process of change.
This is why a coaching relationship is useful, because a coach helps you develop momentum and take the work seriously
The real challenge is in changing something, in allowing yourself and getting yourself out of the well-worn ruts that your wheels are stuck in. A coach can help you evaluate how the wheels have got stuck and what you will need to do to get them moving again.
Remember: the resolution you make, the habit you want to change, is just the reminder that you are trying to give yourself the chance to develop a new possibility for yourself.
Coaching and my new year resolutions tip #6 : Don’t let fear put you off
We tend to quit our new resolutions because we can’t handle changing our ways. It comes down to fear.
It is the fear of what we could become if we didn’t hold ourselves back that limits us.
Who knows what we could achieve if we didn’t give in to our fears?
We break our resolutions out of a fear of what we could become. As we do so we put ourselves back in the past, we get in the way of our own attempt at change. We keep our own wheels in the ruts. In my coaching relationships I help people to identify and change that, I help people to get out of their own way.
The reason you are interested in making a new relsolution is because you want to make a change. Let’s make it happen.
Good luck!
Working with Toby Ingham coaching
I am an APECS qualified coach and a UKCP registered psychotherapist and I have been working with people for 20 years.
I have built up a track record of success in helping people achieve their goals by helping people develop compelling pictures;
- of what they would like to change about their lives
- of what they would like to achieve
- of what stops them developing their ideas and potential further
- of what needs to happen to help them make a change
Contact now for a free telephone consultation to see how Toby Ingham coaching can help you.
