Uncategorized

Emotional permanence refers to our capacity to believe in the feelings of other people even when we are not with them.  For example, to know that your partner loves you even when you are not together.  For some of us, … Read more

Abandoned, lost property, All of the lost unclaimed things.  Do you fear that you might be discarded, lost and left behind? Abandoned children and animals are very vulnerable.  Abandonment threatens our security.  As adults we may be less vulnerable now, but if you … Read more

What do we mean by an internal working model? In this blog I am looking in particular at John Bowlby’s (1907-90) internal working model. I will consider the work of other psychoanalysts as well.  John Bowlby was a psychoanalyst and developer of … Read more

Children who grow up without fathers may develop a particular sense of insecurity. This may become noticeable and effect both their self-worth, and their capacity to develop healthy mature psychological relationships.  How are men who grew up without fathers expected … Read more

Retroactive jealousy refers to an issue people have when they become fixated on their partner’s romantic and sexual past. Retroactive jealousy is an obsessive problem and can be understood as sitting under the umbrella of obsessive-compulsive disorders (RJ/OCD). I have … Read more

A toxic relationship is a relationship in which one partner shows signs of controlling, manipulative, or abusive behaviours. The lasting effects of a toxic relationship can be devastating. Toxic relationships develop over time. The changes may be gradual and subtle … Read more

You know sometimes I get these crazy ideas about things that may not really be there. Howard Hughes, The Aviator (2004) Do you suffer from unwelcome and intrusive thoughts? Do you feel guilty, or that you may have done things … Read more

The idea behind the anger iceberg is that the emotional responses that we see in other people are but the surface issues. The point to keep in mind is that there may be more going on than meets the eye. … Read more

The book, A Guilty Victim, Recovering Creativity after Trauma and Abuse tells the story of one man’s struggle in psychotherapy to understand the way his experience of boarding school in the 1970s had left him with emotional wounds that had … Read more

Being able to manage and improve our emotional stability on an ongoing basis is a key aspect of maintaining good psychological health. However reactive we might be, we can learn to look after ourselves better, to be less prone to … Read more