Emotional Permanence
Emotional permanence refers to our capacity to believe in the feelings of other people even when we are not with them. For example, to know that your partner loves you even when you are not together. For some of us, … Read more
Abandonment Issues & Relationships
Abandoned, lost property, All of the lost unclaimed things. Do you fear that you might be discarded, lost and left behind? Abandoned children and animals are very vulnerable. Abandonment threatens our security. As adults we may be less vulnerable now, but if you … Read more
Internal Working Model
What do we mean by an internal working model? In this blog I am looking in particular at John Bowlby’s (1907-90) internal working model. I will consider the work of other psychoanalysts as well. John Bowlby was a psychoanalyst and developer of … Read more
Absent Fathers and Attachment Issues
Children who grow up without fathers may develop a particular sense of insecurity. This may become noticeable and effect both their self-worth, and their capacity to develop healthy mature psychological relationships. How are men who grew up without fathers expected … Read more
Retroactive Jealousy: How to Manage it
Retroactive jealousy refers to an issue people have when they become fixated on their partner’s romantic and sexual past. Retroactive jealousy is an obsessive problem and can be understood as sitting under the umbrella of obsessive-compulsive disorders (RJ/OCD). I have … Read more
Toxic relationships
A toxic relationship is a relationship in which one partner shows signs of controlling, manipulative, or abusive behaviours. The lasting effects of a toxic relationship can be devastating. Toxic relationships develop over time. The changes may be gradual and subtle … Read more
Obsessional Neurosis and Freud’s Ratman
You know sometimes I get these crazy ideas about things that may not really be there. Howard Hughes, The Aviator (2004) Do you suffer from unwelcome and intrusive thoughts? Do you feel guilty, or that you may have done things … Read more
Anger Iceberg
The idea behind the anger iceberg is that the emotional responses that we see in other people are but the surface issues. The point to keep in mind is that there may be more going on than meets the eye. … Read more
Boarding School Syndrome
The book, A Guilty Victim, Recovering Creativity after Trauma and Abuse tells the story of one man’s struggle in psychotherapy to understand the way his experience of boarding school in the 1970s had left him with emotional wounds that had … Read more
Ways to Improve Emotional Stability
Being able to manage and improve our emotional stability on an ongoing basis is a key aspect of maintaining good psychological health. However reactive we might be, we can learn to look after ourselves better, to be less prone to … Read more