An emotionally immature parent may fail to recognise their child for who they are. So being with the parent always involves a sense of disappointment, of not being seen, of not being enough. It can be draining to be with … Read More
We all have to find a way to grow up. People who have Peter Pan syndrome haven’t worked out how to. Something in the process of the development of their personality and psychology has stalled or hasn’t been triggered, and … Read More
Pornography use can have a corrosive effect on both the user and on other people in the user’s life. Pornography like any addiction, isolates users. It is the isolation that can be very destructive. When I was younger a friend … Read More
Near the end of Cormac McCarthy’s devastating novel, The Road (2006), the father and son duo who have traveled the post-apocalyptic landscape together, have to say goodbye to one another. The father is dying. The father tells the son ‘you … Read More
You know sometimes I get these crazy ideas about things that may not really be there. Howard Hughes, The Aviator (2004) Do you suffer from unwelcome and intrusive thoughts? Do you feel guilty, or that you may have done things … Read More
Donald Winnicott’s concept of the emerging self is that it is develops within a maternal dyad. Winnicott describes the transition from absolute to relative dependence. This work builds on Freud’s map of the child’s journey from the pleasure principle to … Read More
Internalised oppression is the name given to the psychological condition in which an oppressed individual comes to view themselves with the same negative attitudes that their oppressors show to them. Once the oppressive view has been internalised it can be … Read More
We might think of frame of mind as just another mood that we are in. But what happens when our frame of mind takes over, dominates us and stops us being able to reflect on what we are doing? My … Read More
The term disorganised attachment comes from Bowlby and Ainsworth’s work on attachment theory. When we talk about attachment, we are referring to the affective bond, the quality of the emotional relationship that develops primarily out of a search for safety … Read More